Tag: death

Posted in Mini Bible Studies

Walking Through Grief Part 3 of 3

Posted on by Vicki Lowery

A Devotional Bible Study

Day 5 and Optional Day 6

Day 5

This is the final day of this Bible study on grieving. It is a day of celebration for what the Heavenly Father will accomplish in your heart, mind, and life. I believe it for you. 

Even if you don’t feel it right now, that’s alright because Romans 4:17 says that God calls things that are not as though they were. It is a matter of faith. Praise God!! We are not righteous, yet he declares that we are. We are not justified (acquitted from sin) but he says that we are. And it is all because Christ is each of those things on our behalf. We only have to have faith and believe in him. 

The same is true of your victory over grief and despair. The Lord God of heaven and earth will bring you through the waters victorious. Through him, you will not drown in your grief. He will see you through and, over time, will heal you.

Each of these passages celebrates and praises and thanks God for what he has accomplished. Write down what stands out to you from each passage.

First of all, look up Psalm 22:22–25. One day you will do this!

Next, Psalm 30:11–12; 119:49–50, 74; and Isaiah 61:1–3. This passage in Isaiah speaks of the coming of the Messiah. It was fulfilled in Jesus’s ministry on earth.

Finally, Lamentations 3:21–26, 31–33. The book of Lamentations, traditionally attributed to Jeremiah, portrays the overwhelming sense of loss felt by the Jewish people when Babylon decimated their beloved Jerusalem and Temple, subsequently taking more of their people into captivity. It was written from a place of utter brokenness and despair. Yet in it, we still find hope. We find the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord in the midst of trouble.

Mark these verses in your Bible and refer to them often. As mentioned before, keep a journal of your journey through your pain so future you can see what the Lord has done. Write the scriptures on cards and post them around your house so you can see them and be constantly reminded of the truths God is teaching you from his Word.

I pray that you will be strengthened through your trial and emerge victorious on the other side.

Optional Day 6

This day is for the person who hasn’t yet come to the place of accepting the gift of salvation by faith in Jesus.

The first thing you have to do is understand your need for a Savior. If you’re struggling in the swimming pool and I knock you on the head with a lifesaver to try and drag you out, assuming you’re drowning when you’re not, you’re going to be upset with me. 

If, on the other hand, you are drowning and desperately hope someone will come along and pull you to safety, you will be so grateful for that lifesaver.

So why do people need a Savior?

Romans 3:23 and 6:23 tell us that everyone has sinned. There is no one who is righteous, “No, not one.” But God will forgive us and make us righteous in his sight if we have faith in Jesus.

The Bible calls that being “born again.” (John 3:3). You may have heard that term before. Jesus said in John 14:6 that he is the way, and the truth, and the life, and no one can come to the God, the Father, except through him.

So let’s review right quick. We are all sinners. We’re born that way. Can’t help it. If you think about it, you never have to teach a child how to lie or how to be selfish. They know that instinctively. What you have to teach them is truthfulness and kindness. 

God, on the other hand, IS holy, righteous, perfect, sin-free. His very nature requires that he judge sin. So what’s to do? How can we know God? How can we go to heaven? How can we gain forgiveness from sin?

You have to recognize your need for a Savior, your need for forgiveness of your sin. Romans 10:9-10 says that you have to confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believer in your heart that God raised him from the dead. Then you will be “saved,” “justified,” “born again.” Those are all terms the Bible uses to mean FORGIVEN!!

There’s no magic prayer or special words you have to say. You just have to come to God and humbly ask him for salvation and forgiveness. Romans 3:24 says he justifies us FREELY by his grace. It is all by faith in Jesus, not by our own righteousness (remember, we have none) or by our works. God through Jesus did all the work. We just have to believe (Ephesians 2:8-10 and Titus 3:3-7).

If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior and received forgiveness of sin, you are now a child of God, a Christian. Your work is now ahead of you. You must learn the teachings of the Bible and work in God’s kingdom and grow in your faith. 

Step 1: TELL SOMEONE!! Share what God has done in your life.

Step 2: Find a person or a ministry who can help you grow and support you as you learn to live for Jesus. (I heartily recommend BibleThinker.org or Grace to You ministries at gty.org or Precept Ministries at precept.org or LifeWord.org.) 

Step 3: Find a local, Bible-following church where you can be baptized and join in fellowship with other believers. There are many out there, so don’t be discouraged if you try one and it doesn’t quite fit. Churches are like shoes. There are hundreds of sizes and styles and types of functionality. You have to try them on to see what fits. 

But the Bible is clear: we can’t be a Christian all on our own. We are part of the body of Christ, his CHURCH, made of many, many members across the world in hundreds of countries. There are local meeting places where we meet together, but we are all brothers and sisters, and we encourage and support one another as we serve Jesus in this difficult life.

Posted in Mini Bible Studies

Walking Through Grief Part 2 of 3

Posted on by Vicki Lowery

A Devotional Bible Study

Days 3-4

Day 3

Again today I have listed for you a passage which may express your current feelings. It is a cry unto the Lord from the depths of a heart that suffering.

Read Psalm 143. Twice this psalm requests the Lord to deliver from enemies. Make a list of your enemies in your particular situation. Things like grief, isolation, depression, even Satan himself. Once you can recognize these enemies, you will be more able to defend against them and ask God for assistance in battling them.

Notice in verse 11 David asks God to preserve his life and bring him out of trouble. I want to be blunt right now, okay? I touched on this in the introduction, but it’s important enough to bring up again. Oftentimes when people struggle and are in despair they can become depressed or even suicidal. I hope and pray that you are not in that position, dear friend. If you are, seek help, whether from a trusted friend, pastor, therapist, or a suicide hotline. Don’t wait. Your life is valuable, even if you don’t feel that right now. God creates life, and only he can decide when it should be ended.

Even if we despair of life we must continue living, as in staying alive, and living, as in going about our daily lives, even though our world may seem as if it is coming to an end. We must continue to interact with life, people, situations. We can’t isolate ourselves from friends and family. Why?

Look at Psalm 138:7–8. Pay close attention to verse 8, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me…do not abandon the works of your hands.” 

Now read Philippians 1:6. The Father began his work in us before the foundation of the world. Ephesians tells us that he prepared good works for us to do, and he prepared them beforehand. He will not neglect to finish the work he began. We don’t need to hinder that work but cooperate with it and thus fulfill our purpose.

Next read Romans 8:28–29. This verse is quoted a lot in times like these but don’t fail to notice what comes after verse 28. What is his purpose? Verse 29 says to conform us to the likeness of his Son. He uses the good and the bad in our lives to make us more like Jesus, our example.

Now skip down to verse 31, then 35–39. What powerful words! Make a list of the things that can separate us from the love of Christ Jesus. (Pretty short list, huh.) Now make another list of the things that cannot separate us from his love. 

Wow, what a comparison! He has a purpose for each of our lives and everything we go through, both good and bad, conforms to that purpose if we are submitted to him and his will.

You’ve read a lot of verses today. Take a few minutes to think about all the Father has taught you through his word and meditate on those truths as the day goes on.

Day 4

Okay. Today we are really going to get down to the nitty gritty. Very often we must be proactive in our walk with the Lord. He does all the work of salvation, but we have to claim promises and obey commands, which is our part in his work in our lives.

You are going to look at verses about controlling our thoughts. Hang in there, there are several. Why do we need to see what Scripture says about this? Romans 8:6 says, “The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace…”

So, the first verse to look up is Isaiah 26:3.

The word steadfast implies established, resting in, leaning on. How can a person make his/her mind steadfast? This verse says it is steadfast because the person trusts in the Lord. 

Flip over to Philippians 4:6–8.

Paul says that we should not be anxious about anything. That’s easier said than done, isn’t it? 

But when we present our requests to God, verse 7 tells us that his peace, which transcends all understanding (How can a person have peace when they have lost someone dear?? It transcends our understanding.) will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. 

Guard them from what, do you think? Guard them from many things, not the least of which would be Satan’s attacks on our thoughts, his attempts to make us doubt, to discourage us, to make us think life isn’t worth living.

Now verse 8. This well-known verse helps us see how important it is to “take every thought captive unto Christ.” Write down the things Paul says we should think about and compare that to what we are tempted to think about, especially in times of despair. 

Skip down to verses 12 and 13. That is how you manage. Only through Christ. He is the one through whom God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches (v. 19).

I want you to see Psalm 112:6–8 next. In this passage it’s the heart of the righteous person that steadfastly trusts in the Lord. But that’s another way of saying mind.

I would like to encourage you to really pray over these verses. It is so easy to let our thoughts run away with us, especially when life seems too much to bear, and we languish on a continual diet of desperation and heartache and despair. But one of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control. 

Again, we must take our thoughts captive, make them submissive to the control of the Spirit to prevent Satan from achieving his purpose to discourage and defeat us.

I want to leave you today with 1 Peter 5:8­–10 as my prayer for you. Amen and amen.

Posted in Mini Bible Studies

Walking Through Grief Part 1 of 3

Posted on by Vicki Lowery

A Devotional Bible Study

Introduction

Grief is something everyone deals with at some point in their lives. We may grieve something as heavy and choking as the loss of a loved one or merely as stinging as a disappointment. We sometimes must wrestle with anguish at the gaping hole left in our hearts and lives, and other times we might just need a good cry to feel all better.

We all grieve in different ways and about different things, but grief is a process that can’t be skipped or hurried without doing further damage. And for those of us who know the Lord, grief can bring us closer to him and teach us to rely on him, to trust him. We don’t have to go through it alone, for he has promised to walk with us in those dark times. 

Several years ago a friend of mine lost her husband of many happy years. Her grief was deep and debilitating. I wrote this little devotional study for her to help her find the comfort that’s in God’s Word. 

I’ve made some modifications to make it more general, but I share it with you now, written as if to a friend. May God bless it to speak to your heart or to share with someone you know who is hurting, when you don’t know the words to say.

If your grief is from something other than the loss of a person—a job, a pet, a dream, or any other situation that leaves you hurting—just substitute that any place I’ve written “loved one.” You will still benefit from this time in the Word, sharing your burden with the Lord, and seeking his face.

I will post it in three parts. Take your time and sit with the message the Lord gives you, meditate on the verses, and allow the Holy Spirit to comfort and minister to you. This devotional uses God’s Word to remind us of his promises. 

If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, skip down to Day 6 and learn how to ask his forgiveness for your sins and invite him to be the Lord of your life.

Dearest Friend,

My heart is so heavy for you. I cannot begin to understand what you are going through. I wish so much I could take it away. I wish I could say some magic words that would soothe and comfort you, but those do not exist from human lips. 

People mean well when they use platitudes; they don’t know what else to say and feel the need to say something. Those words sound nice until we are the ones going through the pain. I won’t repeat platitudes to you now. 

Besides you probably already know in your head everything that people say about how your loved one is in heaven with Jesus or how they aren’t in pain anymore. What is impossible is to get your heart to be comforted by that. Sure, they aren’t in pain anymore, but you are! You are the one left to live here without your loved one and try to figure out how to create a new life that doesn’t include that person.

I know these blatant words are probably making you cry. It’s not my desire to cause you more pain, but it is okay to cry. And cry. Get it out. There are times when, for the sake of others, you hold it in, put on a brave face. But as you read this letter, as you talk to God, cry! It is part of the healing. 

Only God and time can heal you and oh how we all wish we could shorten that time and skip to the part where the pain ceases to be so acute and retching. Alas, God doesn’t allow us to do that, does he? Pain is part of this cursed world we live in. However, he does lend us his presence and his soothing grace to spread over our hurts. His Word shares comfort and provides strength and guidance during dark times. 

Maybe I’m being presumptuous to write to you like this. Who am I to give advice? 

I was twenty-four when my mom died. So young—the both of us. Someone marveled that I was “such a rock.” But just because someone looks together on the outside, doesn’t mean they’re not a drippy, gelatinous puddle on the inside…or that they’re even mentally present. 

I don’t have wisdom or special insight into grief. But through the trials I’ve had in my life, I have found comfort in certain passages of Scripture. So, I hope my attempt at ministering to you isn’t offensive. I want to give you some verses to look up and meditate upon that have ministered to me during times when I felt like the Lord was far away.

I’ve written them in this daily devotional format so you can read a couple each day and think about what God is saying and how it applies to or influences you. Keep a journal or notebook with you so if you feel him saying something special, you can write it down. It will bless you later to recall his message and see how your healing progressed. 

I have forgotten so much of what happened during my times of loss and pain, how the Lord ministered to me, how he used his people to be his voice and hands and feet. I wish I had kept a journal, so I’m encouraging you to.

I know it can be hard to go on every day. I’m sure at times it may feel pointless. There may be times you want to give up. But neither your loved one, nor the Lord, nor your family and friends want that for you. If you are having those types of thoughts persistently, seek help. Don’t let the thoughts grow and take you over.

I humbly offer you these scriptures with the hope that they will bring you comfort, renew your strength, and turn your focus toward the God of All Comfort, for they are breathed directly from his heart.

Day 1

Read Isaiah 40:28-31. This was my mom’s favorite verse. For many years after her death, I still choked up when I read it, not only because it reminded me of her, but also because it is such a beautiful and powerful passage.

Note v. 28. In contrast to us humans, God does not grow _______ or _______. Instead (v. 29), he gives _______ to the _______ and increases the _______ of the _______. How can we renew our strength (v. 31)?

The Hebrew word translated hope means to expect, tarry, patiently wait. But there’s another meaning that, based on the context of the verse, seems like it would fit as well, maybe better. The other meaning is to bind together by twisting. If we are bound together tightly with the Lord, our strength can be renewed as he does the work for us by lifting us up on eagle’s wings. We can run and not be weary because he is carrying us in his strength.

One writer likened it to the games kids play where they grab onto a parent’s leg and the parent continues to walk, carrying the child along for a free ride. The child is twisted onto the parent’s leg and can “run” and not be weary and “walk” and not faint. What a beautiful picture!

Sometimes when we are hurting or weary, praying is difficult. We can then rest in the prayers of others on our behalf. This is my prayer for you today: Psalm 20. You can read it now and substitute “me”s for the “you”s to make it your own prayer to God.

Day 2

Psalm 119:81–82 says, “My soul _______ with longing for your _______, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes fail, looking for your promise; I say, ‘When will you _______ me?’”

Several years ago I suffered a health crisis. I was in the hospital four times within a year, and in between, I was so sick I could barely walk or eat or be with my family. As I lay in bed all day every day I would stare out the window at the beautiful green and blue world the Creator blessed us with, and I would feel like life was passing me by. Everything went on without me, and I so wanted to be a part of it, not to ever miss anything ever again.

Read Psalm 142.

Notice verse 4. When we are in the depths of despair it is sometimes easy to feel alone and isolated from those we love. I had a wonderful support network in my family and in other Christians who prayed for me, brought food, or took care of my kids or drove them places. 

If you have a support network, pray right now and thank God for them. Ask his blessings on them. Share your burdens with them and allow them to minister to you in his name. If you don’t have anyone, reach out to a local church or civic organization who will be eager and willing to walk arm in arm with you through this valley.

Verse 6 asks for rescue from “those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.” In the case of someone in the midst of grief, sadness and despair pursue you and they can be too strong to resist alone. But the Lord is able to set you free from your prison that you may praise his name (v. 7).

Now, my prayer for you today is Ephesians 3:14–21. Read it more than once and meditate on the parts that particularly speak to you. I pray that he will “strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” Be sure to focus on the section of praise in verse 21. 

Very often praising the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ through the precious Holy Spirit can retrain our focus off of the trouble of the moment and back onto him, for, like Peter when he tried to walk on the water, we lose sight of Jesus and begin to notice the storm all around us. That’s when we sink. 

But he is faithful when we are faithless. He will not allow us to drown. He will pick us up from the miry clay and set our feet on a rock and establish our going and place a new song in our heart, a song of praise to our God (see Psalm 40:2).

Posted in Blog posts

Hope in Death

Posted on by Vicki Lowery

The Visitation

Groups of people clustered around the spacious gathering room, in the aisles, between rows of chairs, smiling, chatting, embracing, remembering. Some, with chins quavering, dabbed the corners of their eyes with tissues to levee the tears that overflowed their banks. A blond wooden casket presided over the room, but most of the people ignored its presence. They knew the broken, octogenarian form resting inside was just an empty shell. His spirit was rejoicing in the presence of the Heavenly Father. Jim lived a full life, always surrounded by family and friends, just as in that room at his death.

The Funeral

When the time came for the service to begin, Jim’s son stood to officiate. With fondness, he told warm stories of days gone by, of quirks and habits that made his father beloved by all. The listeners nodded their agreement and chuckled in their reminiscences. 

Jim had been a schoolteacher for more than three decades and a Sunday School teacher longer than that. Years of sharing his life with children, grandchildren, students, and friends, investing his life in the lives of others, talking of the Lord—this was the fruition, being honored by those left behind. Those who would, as his son poignantly noted, “have to learn how to live life without him.”

 “But I know I will see him again one day,” he continued, his eyes wistful. “That hope allows me to stand before you brokenhearted, and yet with a smile.” He shared his father’s love of the Savior. Jim, in death as in life, pointed people to Jesus. 

The Hope

The funeral of a Christian is a time of rejoicing and hope. Though we mourn, we are comforted. The Apostle Paul says, “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14).

He also says, “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory. ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’” (1 Corinthians 15:54-55).

The Truth

Outside of Jesus Christ there is no hope after death. But because Jesus died for our sins, was buried, and rose again, he provides a way for humans to be reconciled to God the Father, to be forgiven of sin so that we can have a relationship with him. Jesus said of himself, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). He is our hope, the reason we can rejoice even in the face of death, if we have trusted in him as our Savior.

Posted in Blog posts

A Faith to Live By Is a Faith to Die By

Posted on by Vicki Lowery

Last night I dreamed about my dad. It’s strange, because although he passed away eleven years ago next month, this is probably only the third time I’ve dreamed about him. It’s odd when it happens; I wake up and realize it was a dream, but it feels so fresh and real that it rips open the hole that I had finally gotten all boarded up. My dad and I had a pretty complicated relationship, but I still miss him. If he were here now, we’d have a great time catching up and talking for several hours, but then we would need a break. That’s just reality. But I’d be willing to give it a go anyway.

 One thing that was of utmost importance to my dad when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer was to finish well. He knew he was in for some hard times and he needed to know that his faith would remain strong, that what he had lived his life by would be sufficient when it was time to suffer and then to die. I remembered that recently as I was thinking about the reality that many face with coronavirus.

If you know that you’re one of the vulnerable ones, that if you get the virus you will likely die, it’s easy to become fearful. That is true of me. I have an underlying medical condition and I am immune suppressed. My husband has acted as the royal guard, not allowing me to come in contact with anyone who has the remotest possibility of exposing me to the virus. I’ve gone from denial: it’s ridiculous – that’s not going to happen; to fear: what if it did happen – I could really die; to acceptance: I’m doing what I can and being sensible and trusting God. 

I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic, but I had a moment where I did actually consider my own death. Even though I’ve lost both my parents and have been sick enough before that I too could have died, I don’t think I have ever pondered my death. I don’t like to think about it. I don’t want to die and, to be honest, it scares me. 

You have to be careful saying that around some Christians because you might get a scolding. Christians aren’t supposed to be afraid to die, right? Maybe. But I think it’s pretty human to carry that fear. For one thing, there’s a lot in this life you don’t want to miss out on. Plus, you don’t REALLY know what’s on the other side. You believe; you have faith; you trust; you “know.” But there’s always that tug of doubt.

As I wrestled with these thoughts about death, I had the realization that faith doesn’t mean you never doubt. All the major heroes of the Bible had periods of doubt, even some in listed in Hebrews 11, the “faith chapter.” I also fully believe that the Lord gives grace for the moment. He will not leave his children when it’s time for them to die, especially if they have to suffer. If we have a faith worth living by, we will also have a faith worth dying by.

By God’s grace, my dad succeeded in holding onto his faith right up to the end. He was a witness for the Lord in the months and weeks leading up to his final days. As he got closer to death, and delirium set in, he “talked to” loved ones who had already passed and “saw” beautiful sights. He had moments of presence during which he got to say goodbye to his family members. His final words were, “I love you, baby doll” to his wife. He asked that at his funeral 2 Timothy 4:6-8 be read to the family after all the guests had exited. Verse 7 says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” It was a wonderful testimony. His faith was enough to live by and also enough to die by.

As I worked through all this in my mind, I felt at peace. I’m done pondering my own death for now, thank goodness. For anyone who doesn’t have that luxury at the present moment, I pray that you will find peace, comfort and trust through the Lord Jesus Christ and that your faith in him will sustain you. If you haven’t come to faith in him call on his name. He said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die” (John 11:25-26).